Monday, August 30, 2010

Rollin' rollin' rollin' - a window into a very dark, dank self image

Over the weekend I caught myself saying the following phrases...
"When did this happen?" "I hate my body" "GAWD, I used to be hot"

I am NOT a superficial person (mostly), but when I had tried on ALL 5 pairs of jeans that I own, and cannot BUTTON any of them...My self esteem had almost completely vanished.

I dove into a pit of self-pity, went to Walmart specifically to purchase elastic waisted pants - and drank myself silly (hence the discovery of two yummy drink options reviewed here and here).

Sunday, I decided to start anew. I have three months until I turn 30. What better reason to motivate myself than the turning of the page on a decade?

So, I woke up this morning late. I'd eaten an entire Hershey's bar in bed...and, well, watched 27 Dresses (love that movie) instead of sleeping. Whatever. I'd start anew Monday afternoon.

I woke up, brushed teeth, fed baby and ran out the door. I managed to make the conscious effort of wearing jeans today. Non-elastic waist band. I've let myself go by wearing pants that allow me to expand.

After work, while baby napped, I engaged myself.

I took a set of "before" pictures.

Of course, I don't want to show the actual before pictures until progress has been made. Subway's Jared wasn't all showing off his size 65 jeans before he lost the weight - I'm not going to either.

The picture to the left is close though.

Muffin' spillage. Thigh wedgie.

Hot hot hot.

This is an exaggeration - to some extent. For example, I don't have a lobster claw hand, wonky shaped feet, and my red highlights have faded out. The rest is real.

With the added motivation of seeing those...I whipped my own ass doing the P90X Ab ripper dvd.


Then went on a hike wearing my 20 lb baby on my back.

Managed to hike all the way down to the river, listened to the serene gurgle of the flow, peed my pants a little (oh so literally), and then had to hike up hill all the way back to the car.

I was proud of the activity, not so much about the wet pants.

Man, I feel like a woman...duh duh dada duh - duh duh!!

I'm pushing myself to do this. It is a real push.

I have 15 1/2lbs to lose, an ass to perk, thighs to dwindle, and a muffin top to dissolve. 12 weeks to go!

Kick my ass, readers!! I need you to push me!!

I'll post my (real) before and after on my 30th (Nov 29 - hold me to it!!).


Stay at Home Babe said...

You're very brave. I'll watch closely and maybe get inspired. Probably not, but maybe.

Heather said...

Yes you are brave, and hilarious!! This was a funny read. Sharing it on my fan page.

Stop by my blog please!

Heather from Mommy Only Has Two Hands!

The Project Author said...

Loved this...your honesty about where you're at. Good luck to you! If you need some support, see me at Project Supermom...!