Thursday, September 2, 2010

Riding on E

Have you ever driven home trying to estimate how empty "E" really is on your gas tank?

Looking at where the pin is compared to the "E" line - and saying "well, it's at the top of "E" so I'm definitely not going to get stranded and have my dismembered body tossed into the corn to not be found until the vultures are picking at my bones.

(If no, you've probably judged me on my lack of foresight in previous posts. Turn on your judgey cap, because you'll need it!)

Yea, I was doing that today.

I also had an argument with Last Night Me. It was kind of like having a magic mailbox but without Keanu's squintiness, less romance, and more profanity.

Last Night Me
(time: last night as I pass the final station before delving into rural nowhere toward my home)
Sorry, Morning Me, I know I'm being an ass by not getting gas. The tank is close to empty, but the gas light hasn't turned on yet, so you'll be able to make it into town tomorrow.

Morning Me
(time: as I turn on the car and the gas light turns on)
Fuck. You're a dick, Last Night Me! Come on, I need to get the baby to daycare because you KNOW how much I hate doing the gas station thing getting her all riled up in the car and then try to leave her at daycare. Go to HELL, Last Night Me!

Minutes Later Morning Me:
(time: as I approach the gas station nearest to my house - which requires me to GO IN and pay because the pumps are older than sin, and I live in the country, and that's how things are)
GODDAMMIT, Morning Me! You left our fucking purse in the house! How about you pull your head out of your ass and grab the purse you KNEW you needed today. Shitfuckshitfuckshitfuck.

Returning From Daycare Drop-off Me:
(time: passing the gas station nearest my house after driving the 10 miles round trip to daycare, on the way back home with my tail between my legs)
Ok, so I don't have my cell phone, my wallet, the credit card I had in my back pocket that I put back in my purse because if I left it IN the pocket it would get lost - except that I have those pants on again today (thanks, Last Night Me, for your infinite wisdom). At least the baby is safe at daycare for when I'm stranded and get dismembered and tossed into the corn. But the pin is ONLY on the top of "E" maybe I'll be ok...

I made it home. The hubs is taking the car to town next.

Yes, I believe in full gas tank disclosure and told him how fumy the situation is.

He'll probably need to use lawn mower gas to make it out of our driveway.

1 comment:

Stay at Home Babe said...

at least you have lawnmower gas! Small gas station in the country, my vote is play dumb. Pump the gas then "discover" you left your purse at home, drop baby, go home and get money to go back and pay them. This little crazy idea brought to you by me!