I had my come to jebus moment this morning...I got on the scale...I've gained 8 pounds in under 2 weeks. EIGHT POUNDS. That is how much a gallon of milk weighs. According to the Jerry McGuire kid, also a human head.
I gained a head! A HEAD!
motherfuckinsonofa...
Yes, I can categorically excuse myself as to WHY I have an extra gallon of milk in my truck...it's because I don't have it in my boobs anymore.
I stopped nursing 12 days ago. Utters are off limits. I am now no longer using the calories to produce the milk AND I am no longer restricted from chocolate consumption that used to make Babygirl scream when she was nursing. I also have been struggling with the blues...when I get mopey - I eat. I have eaten 2 bags of cheetos (not the snack size) since Monday. TWO with no help.
I'm a munchin' crunchin' ball of self destruction at this point.
In just under 4 months, I am going to turn 30. This, surprisingly enough, is not the sources of my depression. I'm ok with it (check back in 3 months), but I see it as a goal. Cross the finish line of my twenties with my weight under control and I'll be starting my thirties with a Karma credit. Or something. At least not a muffin top. Possibly a six pack. Heh. Ok, I can laugh at that.
This is where you my loyal readers (or new readers...uh welcome, I'm not always standing in front of a full length mirror poking at my pudge) come in. I need support. I thrive on happy words. Shit me some sunshine!
I am trying to come up with a way to motivate myself - because the whole "oh you'll be happier and live longer and have more energy" is way to big picture when I have a Hostess cupcake sitting on the shelf in the gas station SCREAMING my name. I'm thinking about $20 a week in a jar and if I make my goal weight by my birthday, then I can head to The Gap and buy me some awesome ass jeans (my go-to jeans are 5 years old, I have one newer pair that I bought and promptly out fatted about 2 1/2 years go). If not, the money gets dumped into the vacation fund not to be touched until next year, and I continue to squeeze my ass into my current raggedy jeans.
I'm thinking about it. Other suggestions?? Donations? :)
This blog is NOT going to start being all about my fat ass and the trials and tribulations of working out. I will just make a comment or something on Mondays and that'll be that.
KEEP ME HONEST! Nag me if I don't post on Monday mornings!
November 29th is the "Lose That Ass" Deadline.
Current status: 16lbs to go.
2 comments:
Throw out all the sugar, treats, white flour and meat in your house, and don't buy any more of it - also, become a vegetarian! And just refuse to buy packaged sugar-crap, if you need a muffin make it yourself using honey as a sweetener, whole wheat flour and like, flaxseed or something. The weight will slowly just fall off....:) Good luck!!
Thanks for the suggestion. I do need to rid myself of sugary options. As for becoming a vegetarian, that's simply not going to happen. About 75% of the meat we consume in our home is deer meat - the leanest meat I have readily available, void of hormones and processed pseudo-foot to boot. We only eat meat about 4 days a week, which I think is closer to what a human body was developed to consume (rather than 3 meals a day 365 days a year). I do thank you for the support, and requiring myself to make any sweets from scratch will at least get me off my ass if not completely reconsider the desire. :)
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