Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Spinning my wheels

I have many facets of my life.

I'm a mom. A wife. A step-mom. A sister. A daughter, granddaughter, niece. A cousin. A friend. A woman. An employee. A blogger. An entrepreneur. A writer. And none of those.

Recently, my stability has faltered. Rather, my illusion of stability has evaporated. I had established my smoke screen...but time wore it clean away. I have good days and bad. I have chosen to go unmedicated, a choice. My therapist gave me the sideways look when I turned down her offer.

I'm stubborn. I feel like I can pull out of this myself. Get my shit straight and be fine.

95% of each day is usually ok. Go with the flow.

We had a long weekend last weekend, and by the time we got home from driving...I was done. We had no bumps in the road, but apparently pure exhaustion can send me spirialling. Today, I woke up fine. Good night's sleep. Then work, or the lack of work tasks, happened. I'll things I touched turned to shit and froze. Like King Midas's peasant great, great niece whose golden genes were botched and diluted down the line.

Mini panic attacks, inner screams.

I do have positivity to report.

I am now a contributing writer for Upstart! My latest article for fledgling bloggers can be found HERE. This is a fantastic opportunity which appears to be sprouting new, bigger, and better opportunities! This is very exciting!! This is keeping me afloat for the time being. I'm trying to keep my distance today - so it, too, doesn't turn to shit!

1 comment:

Me 'N My Monkeys said...

I sent you an award!
See it here:
http://menmymonkeyss.blogspot.com/2010/08/versatile-blogger.html

You deserve it! Now it's your turn to give it to some awesome bloggers you love!