Elastic lets you grow

Pregnancy was fun. I enjoyed it (well the second and third trimesters). I know some people who have been miserable the entire time. I wasn't. I loved having a life moving around inside me. I glowed. My hair was shiny (but fell out during pregnancy rather than after).

My favorite thing about pregnancy? Maternity clothes! Oh the stretchy loveliness of the preggo pants pouch! Ahh! Emergency runs to the bathroom - not a problem when you don't need to worry about belts or buttons or zippers! YAY!

Gone are the days of  tent clothes designed to "hide" pregnancy like my mom had to deal with.

My momma and I on Halloween a couple months before my brother was born.

How do you pack?

I've always been a heavy packer.

What if it rains? What if it's too cold? What if I spill something and I need to change my shirt four times?

And that's for a day hike - without the kid!

I'm learning, slowly but surely, through experience and a bum back that preparation (checking the forecast, for example) takes out some of those variables and lightens the load.  Yes, there are still variables and some things still might-maybe-what if happen. But I'm learning to roll with it.

A light load makes for a more enjoyable journey. I travel for work and I've found that packing light gets me in and out of the dreaded airport that much faster.

(See my post here to see how that plays with me in other ways.)

Packing for the worst-case scenario isn't always reasonable or optimal.

Yes, I'm sure it COULD snow in June...but do I pack a parka, mittens and hat??

I came to the realization that life is the same way. Why pack a heavier load - in weight, in toxic friendships, in responsibilities, in stress, in general?

Prepare yourself - physically, mentally, and emotionally through healthy eating, exercise, meditation and planning and let the rest slough off.

Living life worrying about the worse case scenario keeps you from enjoying a good or even great scenario.

Pack light and enjoy!

8 week weigh in

This is my final weigh-in for the 8 week fitness program.

If you want to know more about what I've been up to - see the Fitness Journey link to the right.

I could tell you that I feel great.
I could tell you that I lost 14lbs, 4 inches off my hips and 3 inches off my waist.
I could tell you that this is the proudest I've been of myself in a long time.
I could tell you that I have seen changes I could never have imagined.
I could tell you that these last 8 weeks have transformed me into a better person - inside and out.
I could tell you that I've given myself the best 30th birthday present EVER!

But I won't.

I'll let the pictures do the talking...

Turn that frown upside down

I have always taken things very personally.  VERY.

But you all know that about me.

When I was about 10 I was dealing with a bully at school.

My mom, ever the musical fanatic, sang me the song "I'm gonna wash that man right outta my hair" from South Pacific, but instead of "that man" she said "that girl" referring to the bully.  Then told me to go take a shower.

Ploy to have her daughter bathe or not - the lesson stuck.

Although I have gone through phases of the extent to which I remember that lesson, when negative happens I want take a shower.  The choice, then, is to decide to not talk to myself and make the situation worse - and actually choose to let whatever it is wash down the drain.

Yes, at times, I also eat my negativity away.  That is a staple move for me.  A challenge of working from home is that even if I get a nasty email - the fridge or snack cabinet is mere steps away.  And, hell, if I can't find anything - I can BAKE something to eat.

Move over negativity - and entire bowl of cookie dough is on its way!

Recently, I've tried to make a negative into a positive.  If I get frustrated or mad about work (especially) or other things - I run it off.  I get on the treadmill and go to town.

It works, too!  By the time I'm done - I'm gasping and wheezing and don't have the energy to be pissed (much).

Don't get me wrong - these are the usual steps I take when I get frustrated...

1. Trigger point: read email, end phone call, read questionable blog comment...whatever...
2. Get up from desk and head to kitchen
3. Stand in cool air of fridge cursing the fact that I still don't have anything good to eat here ever.
4. Close fridge - check snack cabinet, repeat step 3.
5. Choose to go back to the office because I don't need to eat.
6. Re-read email, comment, notes from call.
7. Get back up and head to kitchen.
8. Make u-turn in kitchen.
9. Return to office, blast workout music, and get on treadmill.

I admit, it isn't the most efficient system - but I'm working on it!  I still enjoy the showers, but one can only take SO many showers in a day, y'all!

A couple FYIs -- 

• How Does She Do It Mom featured my 6 week program progress on her site today and described her overall program a bit. 
• Also, I am a featured contributing writer on And Nobody Told Me today!

Sometimes, you just have to do it

I vowed that on this website will would remain as apolitical and agnostic as I can possibly stand. I don’t know who you voted for or care who you pray to (or if you pray). If you want to know what I did – or do, I’ll gladly say – I just don’t think those are appropriate fodder for a Mom blog – at least mine.

I heard a report on NPR about the US Military doing spirituality fitness assessments. If you haven't heard or read about this, please visit the linked article and do additional research to develop a full, informed opinion of this issue. I actually see both sides of the story - and cringe at responses to the issue from both sides.

I just have to get this out into the world.

My view of self is based on a holistic approach - mind, body and spirit are not independent entities. 

I was born with all three - I breathe with all three - I love with all three - I celebrate with all three - I worry with all three - I grieve with all three - I will die with all three.

6 week weigh-in

So this is my 6 week check in during my 8 week fitness overhaul lead by How Does She Do It Mom's lovely Carrie.

Since the last weigh-in on December 23 - Christmas Day and New Years have both come and gone.

My family did things a little differently this year when it came to the holidays, and my Dad's family offered brunch and my Mom's family only had a plate of cookies served. No meal. Boy does that help! No plates and plates of dinner followed by desserts and then leftovers.  I had to refuse the homemade cookie box from my aunt and grandma this year. It was hare to say "no" on a sentimental level, but I know if I have sweets in the house...I eat them. They just split the goods across everyone else, so no waste.

Week 4 Weigh-in

Lordy.

It's been 4 weeks now that I've been training with How Does She Do It Mom, and boy am I seeing changes.

So what if I still suck it in for our biweekly pictures?
I appreciate posture.  Plus, I can suck it in further than I could 4 weeks ago!

I'm losing weight - thankfully.  Although the program considers weightloss as less of a goal and more of a side effect of proper diet and training - it is still nice when the needle moves in the right direction.

But beyond a number on the scale, I'm losing the momma belly roll (good riddance), the love handles (sayonara), back bra rolls (adios) and overall jiggle generally (buh-bye).

Secret of life

The last few months I've been trying to simplify my life.

In the last 2 weeks I'm doing it.

I'm clearing out the cobwebs, trimming the fat, scraping clean the corrosion of time.

It has not been easy. I'm running low on energy - quite literally. I'm moving past the hump of acclimation into a new diet - the lack of caffeine has made my eyes threaten to jump from my skull.

I am striving to have truer relationships. Quality not quantity.

Florida - on business

So you've heard about the drama flying down to Florida and the drama heading back home...

That was most of the story.  I had to go to Florida for business - and took hubs and the kids along with me.  Why? Because we had a free room and, hell, it's Florida in December!!

We had sunny, warm (by Indiana standards) weather.  Daddy and Babygirl walked on the beach while Momma sat in meetings.  They collected shells during my annual review. 

That's ok, I got to go surf-fishing on the clock!

So busy

My worklife is so cyclical...feast or famine...

My posting regularity follows this wave.

Sorry I haven't posted in a while.  Don't forget me inter-world!!

I'm working on sticking to my meat+veggies diet.

By "working" I mean that I backslid a bit yesterday, but I'm avoiding a bag of chocolates that is regularly passed around our meeting table -- so I AM being good.  No pop, no coffee (because I require all the goodies that make coffee not taste like coffee).  Just water.

I did a workout on Tuesday morning and my back disagreed with me.  Well my legs and my back.

And my neck and my abs and my arms.

Ok, the workout totally killed me, but in a good way.

If by "in a good way" means that I groan obscenely if I have to crouch to get the water jug off the bottom shelf of the fridge.

So I'm here - I'm sore, but surviving my first week of my health crazed, no-carb diet.

I haven't bitten anyone yet, so I'm still counting it as a win.

Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life

How many times has there been a "tomorrow" for me?

Hundreds.

When I graduate from college, then it'll all be better.

When I get into grad school, then it'll all be better.


When I finish my thesis it will all be better.


When I get my first professional job it will all be better.


When I get married it will all be better.


Yada yada yada.

I've always lived for the next landmark.

Today is one of those landmarks.

I turned thirty.  All day. Thirty thirty thirty. Instead of thinking about how cold it was, how the trees were bare and they'll stay that way for too many months.  Instead of staring at the mirror at the wrinkles that don't bounce back.  Instead of eating myself into oblivion....

I grabbed life by the giblets and started an 8 week program.

Hi, my name is Cort and I don't make time to be me. I get tired and depressed and eat to feed my soul.

Today, I put my health, my life, my being on the list.

No sugar. No carbs. No dairy.

Yes, you read that right.

I, who just cleared a pan of coffee cake BY MYSELF, managed to be good.

I will work hard.  I will be strong.  I will be healthy.

While today I was originally going to be posting an "after" picture... this is my new "before" picture.

Yay for me.

That said, I could totally go for a stack of waffles drenched in maple syrup.

So Thankful

I have a wonderful life.

While we still have our challenges, I am thankful for my sweet, handsome, compassionate husband; my well-rounded, intelligent step-son; and my spunky, sweet Babygirl.

I am also thankful for the network of close (physical and virtual) friends and family.

Other, less sappy things I am thankful for this Thanksgiving:

Polar fleece

Sprinkle doughnuts

Fluffy blankets

Elastic waistbands

Fuzzy socks

Wireless internet

Flavored vodka

Lip gloss

Baby giggles

Full gas tanks

Chocolate frosting

Big hugs

Sitcoms

Crunchy leaves

Indian buffet

Caffiene

Good hair days

Washed pocket money

Starry nights

...and of course my readers!

One special reader - Deanna - is the winner of yesterday's $50 Hallmark gift card giveaway!  She's going to use her $50 plus 20% off to announce the arrival of their first baby (a girl!) in March!! Congratulations, Deanna! Please email me your mailing address so we can get that gift card to you!

And everyone - don't forget to use the code BABY20 on Hallmark.com to get 20% off your personalized card order!

Happy Thanksgiving to all!!

I made the list

I made the commitment - and luckily made the list for How Does She Do It's '8 Weeks To A Brand New You' makeover. I'm thankful that she's given me this opportunity.

But more importantly...I've also made my own list.

Starting on my 30th birthday when I officially start my makeover...I make rank on my list of priorities.

My world still revolves around Babygirl, hubs, job, house, finances, dogs, etc... but now I'm recognizing that before I can be ANYTHING of VALUE to any of those commitments - I need to be whole.

You've heard it all before...

Kendra and I are like *this*

We're buds.

We've experienced the same things...minus the playboy bunny status, marrying a pro football player, and overall celebrity - we're practically the same person.

She struggled with losing baby weight and I struggled with losing baby weight.

I didn't watch too much of her show prior to the baby, but now I'm hooked.

On the season premiere last night, Kendra's confidence was blown by Mancow.

I have had an acute and persistent dislike of this radio personality douche since my high school days within his Chicagoland listening area.

Sidebar: One of my friends served him a hamberger once, and I'm confident that it wasn't lacking a special sauce. Hey, if you're on the air blowing shit daily, you've already resigned yourself to eating loogie burgers.  But I digress.

Mancow told Kendra that she's a mom and doesn't have to be sexy anymore.

Unfortunately, I can relate to that, too.

Weight Check Wednesday

In less than 6 weeks, I turn 30.

For some, that milestone has passed. For others it has yet to come.

In all honesty, turning the big Three-O doesn't carry too much weight for me. Except that I'm carrying too much weight to turn the big Three-O.

(See what I did there? Literary genius... Please hold your autograph requests until the end of the post.)

No - seriously! - *sits on hands*

I set this goal back in August, made the commitment in front of all of you, had an utter breakdown, followed by a hell week at work (which involved almost a strict diet of Reese's cups and root beer - shoot me!).

Let's just say that I started out on August 6 needing to lose 16 lbs to meet my goal weight...and now I need to lose 21 lbs.

In 5 1/2 weeks I'll be posting a follow-up picture of myself.  I've promised - I've committed. It's pushing me.

It isn't about the weight - so much as the shape of my body.  I used to not care what my body looked like - mainly because I didn't have to work at maintaining a weight.  Then I gained...and gained...and felt horrible. Not because I was heavier, I just FELT horrible. 

The last time I felt good about my body was when I was about 7 months pregnant.  I loved my pregnant body, curvy and lovely.  (No one loves their body in the last few weeks of pregnancy - it's really a freakish, stretched-beyond-recognition situation.)  I simply want to love my body again - and for me that means the jigglies have got to go!


Warning: If anyone else tells me - you look good for being a mom - I'll throat punch them. Period.

I've dropped the weight a couple times before - so I can do it now.  Emotionally, I'm better.  My head is clear and my goals are focused.  No time like the present, people!! No excuses!!

I have started Week 1 of P90X's Lean program.  I'm eating smarter, working harder, and sleeping more.  All for the sake of ditching my fat pants.

I have two work trips in December and don't need to repeat the breakdown again.

I'm not going to continually blog about my progress. That's boring, and I've worked hard to get all of you readers to come and visit me...no sense in turning you all away now that you're comfy!

Each day, I do post my workout activities on Twitter. Follow the hash #weightcheck and add your progress if you wish! :) I won't try to sell you shakes or anything - PROMISE!

Ugly laughing causes people to stare, but because its miraculous healing powers are that evident

Last week sucked.

If you follow me on Twitter, you already know that. If you unfollowed me on Twitter because I was being whiny posting "pity me" tweets at 4:30 in the morning after being up all night - it's over. Come back!

Don't get me wrong. I don't mind working - I'd rather work hard than be twiddling my thumbs (yeah, I'm an over-achiever...I know it's obnoxious. I can also wake up smiling and bubbly - but only if I know it destroys someone to wake up to morning sunshine shitters - an obnoxious, over-achieving, asshole I am).

Conference Mania: Mirror Image

The next few posts are going to be conference related... brace yourself.

I am hard on myself.  You all know that.

Mirrors are my enemy, and there are no fewer than four in my hotel room.

The bathroom has the standard mirror over the sink - in an overly lit sterile bathroom.  It makes my should-be raspberry chocolate hair color look black, my skin look pasty, and my teeth yellow.

Add to that the side-kick mirror that has 100 time magnification so that each and every pore is the size of a quarter.  It made tweezing both easy and endless.  Also it made me feel sorry for anyone who has seen me at very close range in the last five years (husband, baby, dentist, doctor...).

Rollin' rollin' rollin' - a window into a very dark, dank self image

Over the weekend I caught myself saying the following phrases...
"When did this happen?" "I hate my body" "GAWD, I used to be hot"

I am NOT a superficial person (mostly), but when I had tried on ALL 5 pairs of jeans that I own, and cannot BUTTON any of them...My self esteem had almost completely vanished.

I dove into a pit of self-pity, went to Walmart specifically to purchase elastic waisted pants - and drank myself silly (hence the discovery of two yummy drink options reviewed here and here).

Sunday, I decided to start anew. I have three months until I turn 30. What better reason to motivate myself than the turning of the page on a decade?

So, I woke up this morning late. I'd eaten an entire Hershey's bar in bed...and, well, watched 27 Dresses (love that movie) instead of sleeping. Whatever. I'd start anew Monday afternoon.

I woke up, brushed teeth, fed baby and ran out the door. I managed to make the conscious effort of wearing jeans today. Non-elastic waist band. I've let myself go by wearing pants that allow me to expand.

After work, while baby napped, I engaged myself.

I took a set of "before" pictures.

Of course, I don't want to show the actual before pictures until progress has been made. Subway's Jared wasn't all showing off his size 65 jeans before he lost the weight - I'm not going to either.

The picture to the left is close though.

Muffin' spillage. Thigh wedgie.

Hot hot hot.

This is an exaggeration - to some extent. For example, I don't have a lobster claw hand, wonky shaped feet, and my red highlights have faded out. The rest is real.

With the added motivation of seeing those...I whipped my own ass doing the P90X Ab ripper dvd.

Oof.

Then went on a hike wearing my 20 lb baby on my back.

Managed to hike all the way down to the river, listened to the serene gurgle of the flow, peed my pants a little (oh so literally), and then had to hike up hill all the way back to the car.

I was proud of the activity, not so much about the wet pants.

Man, I feel like a woman...duh duh dada duh - duh duh!!

I'm pushing myself to do this. It is a real push.

I have 15 1/2lbs to lose, an ass to perk, thighs to dwindle, and a muffin top to dissolve. 12 weeks to go!

Kick my ass, readers!! I need you to push me!!

I'll post my (real) before and after on my 30th (Nov 29 - hold me to it!!).