I just reviewed my pregnancy/baby blog from one year ago today. I was 38 weeks pregnant, and was being asked when I wanted to be induced...
I'll stop myself there. I really struggled with this decision. It turns out that baby is as obsessive about punctuality and planning as her Momma, and she kicked and broke her water at 5:45am on her due date - Oct 8. I thought this entry was the most interesting because I so worried about NOT having the midwife present for my delivery. (Backstory: my OB/GYN group has two OBs and one CN midwife on rotation).
When Babygirl decided to make her grand entrance - it was the midwife's shift. Despite rave reviews from other mothers who had her assistance in delivery - the midwife was an UTTER BITCH through my entire experience. From telling me that inserting the internal monitor "isn't that bad" when I nearly backed my preggo ass up the wall SCREAMING in pain to leaving me to go back to the office when I wasn't TRYING hard enough to push (then the nurse had to hold the baby IN while we waited for her to return) to being pissed at me when I pushed when I heard her say "push" resulting in 3rd degree tears to cussing me out when my placenta didn't come out all pretty and tied with a bow (she accused me of smoking my entire pregnancy - uh, I don't smoke ever...).
This was a HUGE lesson in "careful what you wish for." I was scarred by my experience with her - in a very serious way.
Induction Junction - What's Your Function
...I was told I could go in anytime after Oct 1 to be induced. Although I'm very interested in having the baby, I'm also interested in having her fully cooked. I only take my steaks medium rare. I would like to have the opportunity for her to choose to come when she's ready - and to be at home for as long as possible - and to be a little surprised so I'm not counting down the very seconds. 
I'm hard to please, I know. During the doctor's appointment two weeks ago, he asked which doctor I would prefer to do the induction - I said that I didn't care. I was rushed and sort of put on the spot. I wasn't interested in saying that I'd like a doctor other than him - but if I had the choice... I did say that I wanted to give her the chance to make the move on her own, and that I was not going to have an induction before my due date. He scheduled me for Oct 9. On the way home, I realized that I did know the date, but not the doctor. I called - and they didn't know. What? I told them that I would prefer the midwife. She does extra monitoring to minimize the amount of pitocin (the contraction-inducing drug that, if overdone, can make a body do things that it just plain shouldn't). Her method of monitoring is more work for her, and why the other two probably don't do it, but if I had a choice between the three options, I wanted the midwife. Then at the doctor's appointment last week - when I was examined while a woman was waiting for him to come "catch a baby" - I was even more strongly swayed to want the midwife. It is still a crap shoot if the baby comes on her own, but if I'm going to be induced I want her there...
I'm hard to please, I know. During the doctor's appointment two weeks ago, he asked which doctor I would prefer to do the induction - I said that I didn't care. I was rushed and sort of put on the spot. I wasn't interested in saying that I'd like a doctor other than him - but if I had the choice... I did say that I wanted to give her the chance to make the move on her own, and that I was not going to have an induction before my due date. He scheduled me for Oct 9. On the way home, I realized that I did know the date, but not the doctor. I called - and they didn't know. What? I told them that I would prefer the midwife. She does extra monitoring to minimize the amount of pitocin (the contraction-inducing drug that, if overdone, can make a body do things that it just plain shouldn't). Her method of monitoring is more work for her, and why the other two probably don't do it, but if I had a choice between the three options, I wanted the midwife. Then at the doctor's appointment last week - when I was examined while a woman was waiting for him to come "catch a baby" - I was even more strongly swayed to want the midwife. It is still a crap shoot if the baby comes on her own, but if I'm going to be induced I want her there...I'll stop myself there. I really struggled with this decision. It turns out that baby is as obsessive about punctuality and planning as her Momma, and she kicked and broke her water at 5:45am on her due date - Oct 8. I thought this entry was the most interesting because I so worried about NOT having the midwife present for my delivery. (Backstory: my OB/GYN group has two OBs and one CN midwife on rotation).
When Babygirl decided to make her grand entrance - it was the midwife's shift. Despite rave reviews from other mothers who had her assistance in delivery - the midwife was an UTTER BITCH through my entire experience. From telling me that inserting the internal monitor "isn't that bad" when I nearly backed my preggo ass up the wall SCREAMING in pain to leaving me to go back to the office when I wasn't TRYING hard enough to push (then the nurse had to hold the baby IN while we waited for her to return) to being pissed at me when I pushed when I heard her say "push" resulting in 3rd degree tears to cussing me out when my placenta didn't come out all pretty and tied with a bow (she accused me of smoking my entire pregnancy - uh, I don't smoke ever...).
This was a HUGE lesson in "careful what you wish for." I was scarred by my experience with her - in a very serious way.
I cherish my daughter and would go through it again to have HER. But that is easy to say because now I'm dealing with a kid who loves running and opening cabinets instead of punching me in the kidney and lodging her foot in my ribcage.
4 comments:
I will always feel a little guilt for telling you she was wonderful.
CCM - If she had shown the potential of acting that way when you had her, I know you would have told me. She was just a different person for me!
Your comment about you would let her come on her own, if you had the choice... you totally have the choice. Both of my babies were ten days over due. Both weighed a ton, but I refused induction both times. They try to make you feel like you don't have a choice, you totally do... if you do it again and you don't want to be induced, you absolutely have the right to tell them to shove their pharmaceuticals up their asses.
it's not you, it's the system. The make us think they know better, and because it's the first time we "trust" the specialists instead of our bodies.
I just try to keep reminding myself that lesson as she grows older. Most of the times, I do know best
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