Thursday, September 23, 2010

Anyone got hemorrhoid cream? For my eyes - not my ass - sicko...

This is the second night in a row that I've karate chopped myself awake.

*peaceful dream about baby*

Oh no, she's falling over! Hurry jump out of bed!

*leg twitching dream about nothing*

Sonofabitch do I smell a poopy diaper!!!

*perfectly executed REM cycle*

Oh, fuck, now I'm awake and standing 5 feet from by bed!!!

It's exhausting!!

I'm anxious about my upcoming business trip, but this is RIDICULOUS!

My eyes are puffy - like Oprah in natural light puffy!  They've never been this bad without a Hope Floats marathon.

I need my sleep now, especially since I will be sleeping in a hotel next week.  I surely won't sleep while being attacked by imaginary bed bugs!!

Oh, and karate chopping your way out of dreams is a sure-fire way of pulling a sore muscle!

(Yes, I've still  been working out.  Very regularly...unfortunately, I'm still in the gaining muscle not losing weight phase and it's really pissing me off -- 10 weeks to go...)


Ella said...

I wish I had the determination to actually work out, I make all these fantastic plans and never execute them.

Also, I talk in my sleep and tend to yell myself awake.

My mom does the same thing.

It is really weird.


The No Wonder Mom said...

I love your postings... so funny! If you get a chance come check out my blog. We are on the same page with a ton of "issues" Have fun on your trip.