Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life

How many times has there been a "tomorrow" for me?

Hundreds.

When I graduate from college, then it'll all be better.

When I get into grad school, then it'll all be better.


When I finish my thesis it will all be better.


When I get my first professional job it will all be better.


When I get married it will all be better.


Yada yada yada.

I've always lived for the next landmark.

Today is one of those landmarks.

I turned thirty.  All day. Thirty thirty thirty. Instead of thinking about how cold it was, how the trees were bare and they'll stay that way for too many months.  Instead of staring at the mirror at the wrinkles that don't bounce back.  Instead of eating myself into oblivion....

I grabbed life by the giblets and started an 8 week program.

Hi, my name is Cort and I don't make time to be me. I get tired and depressed and eat to feed my soul.

Today, I put my health, my life, my being on the list.

No sugar. No carbs. No dairy.

Yes, you read that right.

I, who just cleared a pan of coffee cake BY MYSELF, managed to be good.

I will work hard.  I will be strong.  I will be healthy.

While today I was originally going to be posting an "after" picture... this is my new "before" picture.

Yay for me.

That said, I could totally go for a stack of waffles drenched in maple syrup.

Safe in the hands of generations past

On Thursday evening, I spent the night at my grandparents house.

In the room where I have slept one hundred times - the same creaks and pops, the same soft linens and pillows, the same trains whistling.

But with my child nestled beside me.

I lay watching the car lights chase across the wall feeling as safe as I did as a child.  The walls - three bricks deep - built with my grandfather's and great grandfather's hands over 50 years ago. Blanketed under quilts hand-stitched by generations of my grandmothers and aunts.

My baby breathed heavily as I recognized my Thanksgiving was coming to a sleepy end with my grandparents just feet away.  Thankful for the health of both sets of my grandparents still living and healthy. My parents, my brother and sister-in-law, my nephews, my aunts and uncles, cousins...

Safe and warm with the next generation sleeping soundly wrapped in the same hand-crafted love.

So Thankful

I have a wonderful life.

While we still have our challenges, I am thankful for my sweet, handsome, compassionate husband; my well-rounded, intelligent step-son; and my spunky, sweet Babygirl.

I am also thankful for the network of close (physical and virtual) friends and family.

Other, less sappy things I am thankful for this Thanksgiving:

Polar fleece

Sprinkle doughnuts

Fluffy blankets

Elastic waistbands

Fuzzy socks

Wireless internet

Flavored vodka

Lip gloss

Baby giggles

Full gas tanks

Chocolate frosting

Big hugs

Sitcoms

Crunchy leaves

Indian buffet

Caffiene

Good hair days

Washed pocket money

Starry nights

...and of course my readers!

One special reader - Deanna - is the winner of yesterday's $50 Hallmark gift card giveaway!  She's going to use her $50 plus 20% off to announce the arrival of their first baby (a girl!) in March!! Congratulations, Deanna! Please email me your mailing address so we can get that gift card to you!

And everyone - don't forget to use the code BABY20 on Hallmark.com to get 20% off your personalized card order!

Happy Thanksgiving to all!!

$50 Gift Certificate Giveaway!!

I was contacted by Hallmark.com to review their personalized card service. They offer cards for baby showers, birth announcements, wedding events, graduations, holidays, thank yous and MORE!

They were generous to offer me a $50 gift card to use for my review.  My beloved cousin was due to have her first child, so I decided to use that occasion to send photo cards.

The card selection is great! Many options, colors, and layouts.  My favorite is that you can zoom, shift, and recolor the pictures on the website! I've played with having to crop my pictures and RE-upload on other sites to get the pictures to meet my ever-so-anal-retentive standards.  Also, not only can you change the text but the FONT and add a picture on the back of the card! I was VERY excited!

Flaming cheese

I grew up in an area that is such a crazy melting pot of cultures...in Indiana. Yes, Indiana.

I cherish the diversity I was exposed to at a young age.  Hell, by the time I was in third grade I could cuss like a sailor in four languages! That's worth something, right!?!?

One thing that I love (and should be no surprise to any of you) is the food that comes with rich cultural diversity. Since I moved from home and then away from my college town, I've lived in predominantly white towns with predominantly white food.  By white, I mean..."wanna go eat at KFC or Applebees" kind of white.

I made the list

I made the commitment - and luckily made the list for How Does She Do It's '8 Weeks To A Brand New You' makeover. I'm thankful that she's given me this opportunity.

But more importantly...I've also made my own list.

Starting on my 30th birthday when I officially start my makeover...I make rank on my list of priorities.

My world still revolves around Babygirl, hubs, job, house, finances, dogs, etc... but now I'm recognizing that before I can be ANYTHING of VALUE to any of those commitments - I need to be whole.

You've heard it all before...

A day in the life

I'm sorry I haven't written.

As my hubs says, "It's deer season - everyone's got to make sacrifices."

That used to mean that he was going to be in a tree stand and staying at a buddy's house, and I'd have to find something else to do on the weekends.

Now, it means I'm elbow deep in guts and fur.

Naked

Today's word is "Simplify"

Say it with me - SIM - PLI - FY.

Good.

It's been a rough couple of weeks. While I managed to stay on top of my primary and secondary duties, I came to realize that I had pulled more onto my plate than I need.

More commitments.

More duties.

More stuff with less me to go around.

Today, I stripped down.

Bare bones.

Reflecting pool

Here I sit in my recliner.

The house is silent but for Babygirl's white noise classical music cd that plays continuously through the night. The same one that I have threatened to throw out the window four dozen times - especially on nights where I mispress the button and repeat the first song instead of the entire cd. I swear it makes my eyes turn to spirals as it plays through the baby monitor.

The rest of the house is silent.

Breathing after a long day.

A long day at work.

A long day sitting in my office chair wishing the memory foam so brilliantly touted on the tag would have forgotten just a smidge and given a little more cushion.  A long day of twitching - endless, precise, calculated procedures.  Nervously drinking through 20 ounces of Diet Mountain Dew in the first hour, incessant vibrating of my left leg through the next few hours, then nervously snacking through the afternoon. Twitch, twitch, twitch.  Still no bald patches on my head, so it counts as a win.

Bet you've never had this happen to you in a parking lot!

So there I was...

At the doctor's office for Babygirl's pink eye...AGAIN...when the feeling washed over me.

I'm gonna puke.

I had already revisited my breakfast of water, pepto and a single saltine cracker.  Hours ago.  I had managed to get some canned chicken soup down before the greasy after taste made me stop - kicking myself for not having homemade soup on hand.


Fight it! Fight it!  You won't puke in your own toilet at home let alone in the one at a doctor's office.

I handed Babygirl off to Hubs.  I had asked him to come in case my flight mechanism was triggered.

Fizzle

I mentioned yesterday that I was motivated to do better for myself because I deserve it - as a mom and as a person.  This was why I started this blog nine months ago - because I struggle with the challenges with which I am posed in motherhood, wifery, homeowner, full-time employee, and woman.

Work has got me in a half nelson, and home life is tickling me with huge peacock feathers.

Rather than throw a pity party with confetti and horns...I'm just going to keep this post short and sweet.

I hope everyone out there is going great, and I hope to rejoin you in the upbeat world of blogging.  I can't remember the last time I read more than one blog post in a day. 

I'll be back, but right now I'm going to workout and take a bubble bath.

Kendra and I are like *this*

We're buds.

We've experienced the same things...minus the playboy bunny status, marrying a pro football player, and overall celebrity - we're practically the same person.

She struggled with losing baby weight and I struggled with losing baby weight.

I didn't watch too much of her show prior to the baby, but now I'm hooked.

On the season premiere last night, Kendra's confidence was blown by Mancow.

I have had an acute and persistent dislike of this radio personality douche since my high school days within his Chicagoland listening area.

Sidebar: One of my friends served him a hamberger once, and I'm confident that it wasn't lacking a special sauce. Hey, if you're on the air blowing shit daily, you've already resigned yourself to eating loogie burgers.  But I digress.

Mancow told Kendra that she's a mom and doesn't have to be sexy anymore.

Unfortunately, I can relate to that, too.

Boys will be boys

I grew up in the city.

When I was a teen - all the boys drove mid- to late 80s Camaros, Firebirds, and Mustangs in varying degrees of disintegration. They ran loud, but within the limits of a catalytic converter - for emission regulation purposes.  They expressed their blossoming testosterone raging manpower via their stereos. 

I recall one particular car that had a speaker behind each seat (in lieu of a back seat) that would make my eyelashes vibrate.  What fun... 

Subwoofers the size of papasan chairs ripped through the ear drums of a generation.

Boo! It's really scary when I go unplugged at home!

Since my internet decided to SUCK this weekend, I had to find other things to do...

With a thrown back (oh the pain!).

I did the Halloween thing...

With the Trick-or-Treat thing...

The one where satellite internet ruined my cyber-social life

Shoot me.

I'm sitting in a cafe with a $4 coffee that I can't afford so that I can access my world.  My work, my hobbies, my social interactions all happen on the internet.

And apparently, I went over my satellite usage limit.  Which means my internet is down until my 30 day usage drops below a certain nebulous level.

I called to explore the options of having DSL turned on, and tomorrow is supposed to be the day. 

I'm skeptical.

The big city closest to my house is BFE, and we've been down this road before. BFE's zip code and phone number match my house's, so the service system shows that we can receive the service.  Then, when they flip the switch - nothing happens.

and I'm relegated to satellite internet and it's obnoxious limitations forever.

In honesty, it's a reluctant monopoly that the satellite companies have over the rural US.  They know that the internet is sub-par, interrupted, unreliable, and slow. 

They advertise that they're connecting rural residents to the rest of the cyber-world...but only sorta.

I'm in the sidecar of technology.  Riding along getting where I need to go, but not comfortably or in control.

The fact that I am paying $70/month and unable to do my WORK that PAYS for the INTERNET is what burns my ass.

Yes, I understand the limit.  They want to keep the "signal" available fairly for all users according to their Fair Access Policy.  Unless I want to pay to upgrade.  Then I get a bigger piece of the "fair" pie.

Of course, I can't afford to throw more money at bills - even if I will get reimbursed for it.

So, for now, you'll find me overly caffeinated, twitching at the interrupted public wifi, and watching people walk and talk in the cafe.  Yes, I'm supposed to be working...but it's distracting.

Again, shoot me.