Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Baby Proofing

Ok, my little one is mobile now, so I suppose it is about time to pick the glass shards up off the floor and remove the bowling balls that are dangerously teetering on the edge of tables.

I thought that was what baby proofing was all about. Find the greatest dangers (baby, please stop chewing on the air conditioner cord) and remove, hide, or barricade them. This is not quite the whole story.

So for those mommas out there that have not yet had to baby proof the house, here are some the basic steps to follow.

Step 1: Go for the obvious.
Think like you did before you were a parent. What would you have totally judged people as unworthy parents for having allowed happen to their child? (no, baby, licking the shotgun is a bad idea) Ensure that those judgments will not be made of you. When it comes down to it, it's really about what other people think, right??

Step 2: Think like a baby.
Look for bright colors, shiny objects, blinky lights, and things that dangle that attract the baby's attention. Remove or conceal said objects.

Step 3: Review.
Really get down and examine every corner. Spend hours and hours evaluating your home for dangers. Rubber bands, plastic price tag thingies, twist ties, all of it. Vacuum, vacuum, vacuum - all corners, edges, and seams. Leave NOTHING that would have passed as carpet toe-jam before. Get out the microscope!!

Step 4: Place baby on the floor.

Step 5: Turn your back for 5 seconds.

Step 6: Remove baby from the absolute most dangerous situation you could have never imagined.

Brace yourself for a crazy ride.

*Another comment about turning your back for 5 seconds. Be careful when turning back around. The child has likely decided to use the back of your swivel desk chair as their standing support. They get really pissed when you turn to check on them and knock them over! Experience is speaking here people!!

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