I did a poor job of pre-birth literary research. I got a hold of the obligatory What to Expect When You’re Expecting, perused a couple of mommy websites and called it good. I was more interested in what the baby was doing now, and what piece of fruit best compared to her size than reading parenting books.
I’m fairly sure that no parenting book describes the Standard Operating Procedure for a pit stop with just a mom and baby. Not an “I’m gonna stretch my legs in this here rest stop parking lot, let’s get the stroller out and read interpretive signs posted along this little woodchip trail” stop. But an “oh, shit, I waited until she woke up on her own I think I’m going to piss myself” stop. Stroller is not an option.
Early, early on – when the peanut was tiny, I simply risked bladder infection to even stopping at a gas station. Yes, I had the bucket seat. I could carry the seat in, and I could put in on the floor of ten thousand germs, and I could bring the seat back home and forget about germ infestation and place said germ encrusted car seat in my home. Or, I could damage my kidneys. Sorry kidneys, you lose.
Now, the little one is older and more resilient – and practically 273 pounds when carried in her bucket seat. That is no longer an option. Also, I’m driving further with her – this weekend was a 3.5 hour drive on the longest leg. Peeing is inevitable. Since I was attending a wedding, peeing in the seat wasn’t an option and Depends are too expensive and an additional stop on the trip.
Yes, I am proud when I get her to go to sleep after a rough night. I am proud when I work her out of a funk without losing my cool. But I’ve never been more proud of momma ingenuity than I was after I accomplished my first pee while holding the baby and successfully hovering without touching gross nastiness in public bathroom. Ample amounts of Purel were still used…you know…just in case.
Sometimes, you simply have to do what you have to. You can’t leave the baby in the car, can’t ask a stranger to holder…and MOST DEFINITELY cannot set her on the floor *commence heebeegeebee dance.* And there was simply no time to fumblefuck with the stroller buried under travel junk in my trunk.
Anywho it was a proud moment in my world. And I thought I’d share.