Thursday, June 17, 2010

Over the shoulder boulder holders

First off, I'd like to state that not everyone nurses. This day and age, the decision to bottle feed versus breastfeed is based mainly on personal preference, ability, and interest. A bottle feeding momma is just as offended by being told that they are selfish as a breastfeeding momma is offended by being told that what she is doing is gross. Cut the shit folks, just like every other aspect of parenting - the decision for bottle/breastfeeding is dependent on factors that are only the business of that family. Pass judgment somewhere else.

That said, I nurse my baby. I plan to not do it until she's 15, so no worries there either. I am fortunate in that I've had a relatively easy go of the nursing business. The large knockers are making up for the fact that I've never been able to take 4 running steps without the cartoonish sounds of a tympani playing in my head. Of course pregnancy and early nursing only made them porn-star huge. Am I complaining? No. They were self-supported for the most part back then. My issue is 8 months down the nursing road, I'm still well endowed - it's just a matter of where that endowment rests relative to my sternum.

Nursing bras come in a few varieties.

(1) The tank bra - a spaghetti strapesque shirt with a shelf bra. For some - probably those who have always been able to comfortably wear a shelf bra, they work. Not for me. Da dadada!!! UNIBOOB! (and that just gets messy on hot summer days)

(2) The soft cup bra - aww soft and comfy. No support. After a month or two of variable boob size, the fabric gives out resulting in a boob thong from the support structure of the bra while the booby flaps sag down. I might as well be swinging free.

(3) The sleep bra - holds the girls in place so you don't roll over on them (seriously...ouch), but the second you stand up - boobs meet waist.

(4) The underwire bra - a HUGE no-no in all breastfeeding references (could potentially block milk ducts and cause infection). Tend to come with huge grandma straps. The support is better, but unless you're wearing a turtleneck, the straps will end up showing at some point when a baby is perched on your hip. This has been my option of choice in recent months. Note that I'm very aware of swelling that could indicate the first signs of mastitis.

No nursing bras that I have found address the THO problem that arises with breastfeeding mommas. Part of me doesn't care - I can't feel it, and it no longer means that I'm cold. Would a little padding or more solid cup kill anyone?

I'm positive that I'm not the only person who is nursing that would also like to not experience the nickels-in-sock feeling day in and day out.

It doesn't help that many department stores no longer carry maternity bras in their stores. I understand that the variety of sizes/colors/support mechanisms would take up space, but I feel like a social outcast when I'm told that I need to go to the website - when I'm standing in their store!

While not for all - for me, nursing has been a good experience overall. I would just like to preserve some semblance of boobiage for post-nursing me. I don't look forward to having to roll these babies up to put them in place at a later date.

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