Tuesday, October 26, 2010

People like to tell me stuff...and I feel obligated to be nice...until they lift their shirt

I thought I'd give you a follow-up to my dentist visit...

Let me just say that I didn't know the hygienist prior to yesterday.

I now know that she has two biological children and one stepson.  She's been married 2 years, and with hubby number 2 for 4 years total.

(She is apparently unable to talk and work on my mouth at the same time. I appreciate a hygienist that pulls her hands out of my mouth to get a response from me...but I can hear just fine while you're picking at my teeth.)

She was 31 when she had a partial hysterectomy...the tumor they removed weighed more than one of her children when they were born. She then had to go back and have the remaining ovary removed within 9 months because of other issues.

(The omission of additional detail [how she ignored pain, where she went instead of the hospital, length of hospital stay, etc] is not because I don't know...but because I'm sparing you.  Really, I am)

She now experiences hot flashes and is crazy if she doesn't take her hormone pill.  She has most recently had a breast reduction - from an E cup to a "comfy C," as she put it.  She also had the scars from the two c-sections and to hysterectomy surgeries "corrected" with a tummy tuck.

*then I politely turn my head to find out why she once again has stopped working on my mouth to see that she has lifted her shirt to show my her "cute little six pack" - which is less than eight inches from my face.*

Hello stranger, I don't know your name, but now I know you have a birthmark on your abdomen...and wish I didn't.

My new bestie then turned the floor over to the dentist, who without an introduction, shoves a pointer thing into the obvious chasm in my molar (which makes me squeak and crawl backward in my chair) and asks "is that the tooth that is hurting you?"

I refrained from my standard sarcasm and politely said "yes" because he's going to be the one deciding the amount of gas is administered when I return next week.  Then he left the room.

It wasn't a terrible visit (minus the tornado warning), but I withhold judgment until the drilling/crown work is over.

I'm still lobbying for the horse tranq.

6 comments:

Stay At Home Babe said...

Hang on, I do NOT feel spared. I feel deprived. Where the fuck did she go instead of the hospital?!

KeepingYouAwake said...

I know too many of this kind of people. Why is medical history their best material? If it's not a list of hospital visits and things that are bothering them, it's deaths around them or their views on the government. As if dental work wasn't enough.

Kate said...

Oh, lordy. That's unreal. Entertaining from this end, but unreal nonetheless.

Out of sheer morbid curiosity, was the "cute little six-pack," you know, cute?

Tina P said...

Her stories will be much more entertaining next time when you are all hopped up on the gas! Something to look forward too!

Cort (Modern Super Momma) said...

SAHB - instead of going to the hospital when her tumor ruptured, she went to her kid's ball game and a Pampered Chef party!

KYA - I would have cared less about how much she was talking if she could talk AND work!

Kate - it wasn't bad, but it was so CLOSE to my face! I didn't see any surgery scars, so I guess that's a plus!

Tina - I probably would be a little bit more open with my "I Don't Care" eye roll if I were gassed up! I'll let you know what happens on my next visit!!

polwig said...

There is a fine line between annoyance and people skills/schmoozing, apparently she does not know it well. Next time bring headphones :) Happy Bday soon btw !!