Monday, March 15, 2010

Just when you think you've got it all together someone shits on your floor

Sunday night: Get the kid to bed on time (check), 3 batches of homemade noodles set to dry (check, and pat on the back - thankyouverymuch), teeth brushed and in bed before 10 (check, check!).

Mondays are hard. They always, always are. I try very hard to combat Monday suckiness by getting a good night's sleep. "Try" being the ever operative word.

At 3:30 I was up with the baby. To her credit, she was in bed for almost 8 hours... She was UP I started goofing around on the internet. I nursed her and then went into the bathroom to brush my teeth. Starting my day early is good. When I get more accomplished before noon than a normal day, I feel like I've stolen a couple hours from somewhere. It's a great feeling. I was energized by the day's potential.

Upon returning to the living room, it hit me. The stench of one thousand melted turds surrounded us. My eyes adjusted to the dark room and I saw it. Dog shit pooled on the floor. It was bad. As a life-long dog owner, I've dealt with cleanups before. There was something about this one though - the way it burned my eyes. I tip-toed past the land mines.

My husband was then returning from letting both dogs out. Apparently, one of them waited until I was in the bathroom to do the deed - and the immediate stench had woken my husband from his nightly coma. Serves him right. It was the vat of used peanut oil that he left in the backyard after a dude-fest that she had licked clean. Clean! (*gag*)

Granted, we have bad carpet in our house. Bad, old, blue carpet. It's been begging to be replaced, but until we get the money to do so, I'd prefer to not have shitty stains scattered about. So, from about 4AM to 6AM I did every trick in my book to get oil-based doggy doo out of the carpet.

The pooch cowered outside - terrified that she'd be punished for an explosion that obviously wasn't her fault. She won't, but I would rather her be out there if any aftershocks should pop up.

Now, we have a trail of brown poo-ey stains surrounded by halos of bright, super clean carpet. The smell is gone, but it is still gross. We have the area cordoned off with a fence of used paper towel rolls to delineate the danger zone lest any socked foot dare to enter. I am going to have to try dish soap or something...

After all of that, I took a three hour nap...

Happy Monday!

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