Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Leave me breathless

I am. THE most. Miserable. Person to share a bed with. (like real sleep)

Not that the person sharing the bed with me is miserable -- no, I am.

See, I'm a cuddler. I love to be close and snuggly. During waking hours.

When it's time to hit the hay, I need my space for slumber.  I don't mind contact while I sleep - I just can't stand being breathed on.


Yes, breath.  To Hubs's defense, this issue long outlives our relationship. He's up on his hygiene, and it's not a smell issue.  It's the heat that gets me.

I remember laying in between my parents on their bed on the rare occasion I would end up in their room - and have them both facing me -- asleep.  Breathing on me.  Arms over me.  I learned what claustrophobia was long before I could pronounce it.  I had no place to turn, no way to leave.

Between that and my light sleeper status - I've been known to obsess over avoiding being breathed on or breathing on Hubs.  I'll toss and turn to adjust my position, and heaven forbid should he turn my way once I'm situated.  Often my little 5'4" body is shifted so that my feet hang over the end of the bed in order to breathe on an entirely different plane than him.

Hot used breath bugs me.

This is why an airplane sitting on the tarmac without air actively blowing bugs me.

There is an eHarmony (or the like) commercial on right now where a couple is forehead-to-forehead standing there breathing each other's air (who does that?) and it nearly causes me to spiral in panic.

It's a miserable problem. I've known no other person who has this issue.

I'm off the hook nuts-o.


Mommy Shorts said...

I had a friend like you when I was little. Sleepovers at her house were a NIGHTMARE. The second we stopped chatting and attempted to fall asleep, she would tell me I was breathing too loudly. I remember lying there wide awake most of the night trying my best not to breathe. I feel for your husband:)

Deanna said...

Finally! Someone else has this issue! I can't have my husband breathe on me, if he wants to face towards me there has to be a pillow up by his face so breath doesn't touch me and I have him so conditioned to move if I need him to that all I have to say is "flip!" and he will turn over in bed without even waking up. And we share a full size bed so you can imagine how bad it is.

Cort (Modern Super Momma) said...

@Mommy Shorts - That would have been terrible! Hubs didn't even know I had an issue until I told him the other day (we've been living together for almost 8 years). It's just something I have to deal with. I know it's my problem and not his.

Cort (Modern Super Momma) said...

@Deanna - you guys need a bigger bed! ACK! That gives me the heebie jeebies being so close! Our queen size bed is pushed up against the wall so Babygirl doesn't fall off if I end up with her. I'm between him and the wall - and the queen bed is too small sometimes! Go for a California King and bring your cells to bed to text if you want to get busy! (Roaming rates may apply!)

Ella said...

I can't say I've ever had this issue but I can totally dig how you feel.

I can't stand being breathed on either.. but I sleeps soundly through the night so I don't notice it then..

Cort (Modern Super Momma) said...

You're lucky, Ella! That wakes me up, and I struggle to go back to sleep when I wake up. Grr.

How Does She Do It Mom said...

You have absolutely NO IDEA how I couldn't agree with you more!!! I hate it when anyone at anytime breathes on me...especially during the night when I am trying to sleep. Even the tiniest little wind on the back of my neck...ughhh!!! So with you on this one Cort!

Cort (Modern Super Momma) said...

The words "wind on the back of my neck" sent me into full body shudder! :) Glad I'm not alone!

Shelle said...

Oh my goodness, I could not be more 'with you' on this one. My son is only a year old, and I can't even stand his breath on my neck if he's NAPPING on me. During the daytime. Ugh... shudder. It's also the reason me and mine sleep in shifts or in different rooms. There's plenty of opportunity for 'other things', but I do NOT want your used air.