Monday, July 5, 2010

lotion versus gel - a much needed clarification

This is a public service announcement to explain the similarities and differences between suntan lotion and after sun relief gel.

Suntan lotion: please help me put it on my back - evenly and streak free, preferably. A little pressure and massaging is a plus. If intentions of said massaging are to lead to action - you'd better offer to apply before I wrestle myself into my bulge restricting girdle suit.

After sun relief gel: An aloe product is helpful at relieving sun burn related discomfort. Please help me apply because I can no longer raise my arms. Added pressure is a no-no (uh, I've got a sunburn...thanks). Not to be used as foreplay - even though I'm a hottie and you've been watching me try to secretly hide leg jiggles and stretch marks in my girdle suit all day with conveniently placed towels, beach bags and children. You should have preemptively struck with suntan lotion earlier in the day.

Happy summer!

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