Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Cleaning house, well not really.

The last few months have been tough.

Tough enough that I need an analogy. Just wait. This one took all day to solidify...

So my brain is a room that looks like it should be videotaped by 4 cameramen for the show Hoarders. The room is void of furniture just piles and piles on the floor. Some good stuff, expensive stuff, 6 years of college and 4 years of professional life kind of stuff. Some fluffy love stuff, glowing golden love for my family, my husband, stepson and babygirl. Some dog toys, some cleaning supplies (ironically dusty of course), some garden tools, some other hobby stuff, the Twilight series books (dogeared and tossed in), lists and lists and lists - written in pencil, faded and smudged. Two gillion empty soda bottles, fast food bags, ATM receipts...oh wait, that's my car.

You get the picture. It's a mess. A MESS!

I can go in and shift stuff into piles, but you can only stack so many work tasks into a pile before they roll off and smother the pile of bottles, diapers, and teeny tiny baby socks. The baby toys are continually scattered. My wedding dress is here somewhere...probably in the mound where my bed used to be. AND WHERE THE HELL ARE MY BLACK SKETCHER MARY JANES? Seriously, I haven't seen those bastards in over a week. I miss my shoes!!

I made a decision about a month ago that I needed to do an overhaul. A major one.
I've begun the organization process. I am starting to categorize. Work. Baby. Husband. Blog. Recreation. So on and so forth. The problem is that no matter how hard I try to organize the piles, the more frustrated I become when they run into one another.

Bring on the TLC working crew - including the snarky super thin woman, over the top gay man, and the buff shirtless handyman wearing the toolbelt a little too loose and lopsided to actually function for anything other than a prop in PlayGirl.

I need a structure to hold these items apart - adjacent, but apart. Shelving. Boxes. Squares. Straight lines.

I am making progress. Starting babygirl in daycare so that I can work when I'm supposed to work and be a mom the rest of the time. Working at keeping the house clean instead of having the "fuckit" attitude that ends up in me being overwhelmed with clutter.

I still have a lot of miscellaneous trash that I keep kicking around. Much of it guilt. Guilt that I can't help everyone every time. I can't be 132 places at once. Doing for everyone. I need a little more help with that. I went today to a counseling session to help me organize into these compartments and not feel bad about not having compartments for each and every person I have ever met. ever. It was a good visit, but rudimentary (don't think for one second that I was able to spell that without spell check). I'm hoping that in a few more visits I'll have a better grasp of what goes where so that I can easily access what I need, when I need it.

...and finally find my flipping sketchers!!


Heather said...

I like your writing style, its very funny. Following you from Bloggy Moms. :)

MommaCJay said...

Thanks, Heather!

Kimberly said...

Following you from Bloggy moms as well. Can relate to your desire to organize and get it together. I feel out of control...but I think kids do that to you! Hope you have a great week!

MommaCJay said...

Glad I'm not alone in this! Thanks, Kimberly!