Fizzle

I mentioned yesterday that I was motivated to do better for myself because I deserve it - as a mom and as a person.  This was why I started this blog nine months ago - because I struggle with the challenges with which I am posed in motherhood, wifery, homeowner, full-time employee, and woman.

Work has got me in a half nelson, and home life is tickling me with huge peacock feathers.

Rather than throw a pity party with confetti and horns...I'm just going to keep this post short and sweet.

I hope everyone out there is going great, and I hope to rejoin you in the upbeat world of blogging.  I can't remember the last time I read more than one blog post in a day. 

I'll be back, but right now I'm going to workout and take a bubble bath.

Kendra and I are like *this*

We're buds.

We've experienced the same things...minus the playboy bunny status, marrying a pro football player, and overall celebrity - we're practically the same person.

She struggled with losing baby weight and I struggled with losing baby weight.

I didn't watch too much of her show prior to the baby, but now I'm hooked.

On the season premiere last night, Kendra's confidence was blown by Mancow.

I have had an acute and persistent dislike of this radio personality douche since my high school days within his Chicagoland listening area.

Sidebar: One of my friends served him a hamberger once, and I'm confident that it wasn't lacking a special sauce. Hey, if you're on the air blowing shit daily, you've already resigned yourself to eating loogie burgers.  But I digress.

Mancow told Kendra that she's a mom and doesn't have to be sexy anymore.

Unfortunately, I can relate to that, too.

Boys will be boys

I grew up in the city.

When I was a teen - all the boys drove mid- to late 80s Camaros, Firebirds, and Mustangs in varying degrees of disintegration. They ran loud, but within the limits of a catalytic converter - for emission regulation purposes.  They expressed their blossoming testosterone raging manpower via their stereos. 

I recall one particular car that had a speaker behind each seat (in lieu of a back seat) that would make my eyelashes vibrate.  What fun... 

Subwoofers the size of papasan chairs ripped through the ear drums of a generation.

Boo! It's really scary when I go unplugged at home!

Since my internet decided to SUCK this weekend, I had to find other things to do...

With a thrown back (oh the pain!).

I did the Halloween thing...

With the Trick-or-Treat thing...

The one where satellite internet ruined my cyber-social life

Shoot me.

I'm sitting in a cafe with a $4 coffee that I can't afford so that I can access my world.  My work, my hobbies, my social interactions all happen on the internet.

And apparently, I went over my satellite usage limit.  Which means my internet is down until my 30 day usage drops below a certain nebulous level.

I called to explore the options of having DSL turned on, and tomorrow is supposed to be the day. 

I'm skeptical.

The big city closest to my house is BFE, and we've been down this road before. BFE's zip code and phone number match my house's, so the service system shows that we can receive the service.  Then, when they flip the switch - nothing happens.

and I'm relegated to satellite internet and it's obnoxious limitations forever.

In honesty, it's a reluctant monopoly that the satellite companies have over the rural US.  They know that the internet is sub-par, interrupted, unreliable, and slow. 

They advertise that they're connecting rural residents to the rest of the cyber-world...but only sorta.

I'm in the sidecar of technology.  Riding along getting where I need to go, but not comfortably or in control.

The fact that I am paying $70/month and unable to do my WORK that PAYS for the INTERNET is what burns my ass.

Yes, I understand the limit.  They want to keep the "signal" available fairly for all users according to their Fair Access Policy.  Unless I want to pay to upgrade.  Then I get a bigger piece of the "fair" pie.

Of course, I can't afford to throw more money at bills - even if I will get reimbursed for it.

So, for now, you'll find me overly caffeinated, twitching at the interrupted public wifi, and watching people walk and talk in the cafe.  Yes, I'm supposed to be working...but it's distracting.

Again, shoot me.